Give Me Comments Or I Will Give You Death

This weekend I was at my scratch post, pondering the inherent beauty of the universe.

I thought "isn't it beautiful that we are all one? That each of us is a unique snowflake that, together, creates the winter wonderland of existence?" Greatly moved by this thought, I pussyfooted over to the computer to tell all of you about it.

Then, in an instant, I was spayed by the harsh blade of reality: You are all a bunch of shittylitters.

In the time this blog has been up, I have not received one comment. Not one. You could make the arguement that I won't get comments until I tell people about Chocolate Mittens. That you can go to Google, search for "Chocolate Mittens" and still not be sent here. But that's beside the point.

Therefore, I offer this ultimatum.

I GEOFFREY CHOCOLATE, HEARBY DECREE:

1. THAT THE PUBLIC AT-LARGE has shown a total lack of regard for my kitty genius.

2. THAT I HAVE GIVEN MY HEART and kitty soul to this blog for what seems like a while, and received nothing but disdain in return.

3. THAT I MUST TAKE DRASTIC KITTY ACTION in order to reverse this turn of events.

4. THAT THIS DRASTIC KITTY ACTION is entirely justified.

THEREFORE:

1. I MUST RECEIVE COMMENT on one or more postings contained within this blog, no later than 12:00pm EST on March 22nd.

2. OR I WILL KILL lil' Ethan Snugglepants, pictured below:




Dear readers, the kitty gauntlet has been thrown. Unless you want that to be the last cookie he eats, you better get interested fast.

Toodles!