Take Heed, Unsuspecting People Of The World!

By last Wednesday it had become abundantly clear that I was a genius. Strike that, dear readers. The genius.

Oh, how I rolled and purred. How I unsheathed my claws before my scratching post in triumph. Yes, there were casualties. But lil' Ethan Snugglepants was eaten by a crocodile for the good of Chocolate Mittens. And who among us wouldn't do the same? Simply put, my random thoughts about life are too important to be ignored.

But all along, something gnawed at my kitty conscience. Something was missing, and I couldn't put my paw on it. Then it came to me: I need an arch nemesis.

Sherlock Holmes had Professor Moriarty. Superman had Lex Luthor. And Arthur Bingham had Commodore John Rodgers. Fear not, I will teach you all about the Little Belt Affair of May 16th, 1811 in another, less momentous post.

Therefore, it is with great pleasure that I commence the next great event in the greatest blog ever written:

THE 1st ANNUAL
CHOCOLATE MITTENS
ARCH-NEMESIS SELECTION SPECIAL
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CELEBRATING THE DESIGNATION OF THIS YEAR'S OFFICIAL
"ENEMY OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND RIGHT IN THE WORLD"
hosted by
GEOFFREY CHOCOLATE





SCHEDULE OF EVENTS
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1. MEET THE FINALISTS!
2. REVIEW OF VOTING PROCEDURE
3. AFFIRMATION OF VALIDITY

SELF-CLEANING BREAK

4. ARBITRARY WINNOWING OF FINALISTS

FANCY FEAST

5. PRESENTATION OF MY NEW ARCH-NEMESIS
6. BLIND HATRED AND OH-SO-DEVIOUS PLOTTING COMMENCE

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When will all this happen, you ask? All good things, my little kittens. All good things.